Shilltown

little-putsch-flandersPerhaps the most colorful resident in Shilltown is Assemblyman “Little Putsch” Flanders. An unabashed fascist whose atavistic vision revived graphite mining through his Graphite To Nowhere Program, retrofitted police vehicles with mortars and ended subsidies to local hospices.

He also rebranded the downtown area as an amusement park, filling city coffers with admission fees for anyone entering the downtown area with additional fees for those visiting “special attractions” like City Hall or the City Court.

fannie-corndog-cornwallisAnother high-profile native is Fannie “Corndog” Cornwallis who went on to become Emperor Ramsey’s campaign manager during the 2016 coup. Fannie, raised by wolves on the outskirts of town, left Shilltown after the infamous “Wolf Rout” of ’98 which saw her “parents” rounded up and shipped to Barking to perform high wire antics.

Embittered by the experience, she became staunchly conservative and railed against environmentalists, big government and the City of Barking which she referred to as “The Cesspool of Down County.”

After a stint at the Poison Post (in Poison Wells), Fannie went on to work for Sheriff Ramsey who took the wolf-raised provocateur under his wing. In 2014 she won the coveted Corndog Crown at the annual Summerfest corndog eating contest. She remains undefeated.