Bradshaw’s Pike

Bradshaw's Tavern in Bradshaw's Pike. Bikers, karaoke.Bradshaw’s Pike was named after the Bradshaw family who were the first settlers in the area. Originally named Bradshaw’s “Tyke,” after the Ben Bradshaw’s eldest son (Banning) who stood less than four feet tall, the town was  known as Bradshaw’s Pike by 1870 due to the fact that no one could form a “T” will using the spittoons.

The Bradshaw tradition of drinking and fierce independence lives on today and is nowhere more evident than at Bradshaw’s Tavern, owned and managed by Banning’s great grandson, Elmer Bradshaw.

Not far from Bradshaw’s Tavern is Dude’s Guns, a safe haven for fringe jobs, conspiracy theorists and midnight revelers run by Euton “Dude” Holmes.

Background checks are never a problem and a wide variety of firearms, ordnance, recreational brine and combustible lozenges make Dude’s the premier shop in Down County for all your pre-crime logistic and recreational needs.

Try out a flame thrower and be entered for our High Powered Ammunition Sweepstakes!

For the older crowd there’s Crossley’s Nursing Home, owned by Jonus Crossley. Regular games, peeling paint and plenty of Thorazine make Crossely’s a fun place to spend your last days on earth. And for the budget-conscious, Crossley offers free shuttle service to Flubug Cemetery. Why let getting old get you down? Dump your folks at Crossley’s!

There’s also some changes afoot in Bradshaw’s Pike.

The Take It N Git II, long revered for the “Fuck The FAA” slogan painted on its roof, has relocated to Graphite Cornerz. The town elders have discussed dedicating the site as an historic landmark and possibly charging admission, but no one really believes anyone will pay to see it, especially since half the customers used to leave without paying when it was open.

Cest la Vie Funeral Home (closed)

Cest la Vie Funeral Home (closed)

The C’est La Vie Funeral Home, once owned and managed by known lesbians Karen Rutherford and Jake Pinewood (now at large) was shuttered after a missing body scandal that involved an estimated 200 grave sites and left dozens of grief-sticken family members without closure (or remains). As yet, no one has purchased the facility which remains encircled with crime scene tape.

 

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