2016 Flubug: The Year in Review

roller-coaster2016 was a roller coaster for Flubug.

It began with a fracas in Bradshaw’s Tavern parking lot, a fire in Founder’s Park and a fruitless hunt for Hellion’s lead singer, Firebug.

knave-small-adThen we lost The Ditch after decades of unrestrained music, behavior and drug use (CD available here).

The New Uzbek Minstrels played Carpenters covers at the Uzbek Social Club.

Roman Candy relocated to The Knave.

And, in a nod to the increasing influence of Uzbeks, The Sound of Uzbek opened at the Overmeyer Cultural Center.

Collectors were ecstatic as rare stamps, coins, and notes went on sale – like the error-free $100 Flubux note put out by optimistic merchants – and bygone stamps were re-issued by Postal Inspector, Jerry Zambiski.

Crowds packed Eunice’s Civil War Museum to marvel at wax reenactments like The Incident at Eunice Creek, Grant’s Fume, Buford’s Reproach and Stonewall Jackson’s momentary possession by Rasputin (before demanding refunds).

Rilesvillians revealed themselves to be the hate-mongering, sub-human ghouls we always knew them to be, with a failed train bombing and films that elevated hate to an art form.

dinosaurA completely new new dinosaur species was discovered by archeologists with the Shilltown Museum of Natural Oddities. The Shillasaurus is now on permanent display at the museum with the world’s only known miniature tusk-free mammoth (which looks curiously like an elephant).

We elected a new emperor in 2016 who, by all accounts, is committed to turning Flubug into an independent nation through a FluExit referendum to be held next year by his children (who are scheduled to be on safari through March).

Whole Hog

Yet more than anything else, 2016 was The Year of West of Pencil Place (WOPP). A flurry of store openings including Vapid, Whole Hog, The Smelt, Paddy Water, Ponzi Hut, and a failed attempt by Hope Faydz to revive Pencil Place, sent a green light to hungry developers and a Severe Tire Damage sign to affordable housing buffs hoping to reverse escalating rents.

So, what’s in store for 2017?

No one can know. But whatever it is, you can bet your last Barking Nickel you’ll read about it in The Bugle.

The only independent newspaper left in Flubug!

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