After months of accusations, Emperor-elect Ramsey has admitted that autographed panties sold by his wife, incoming First Lady, Cindy “Baby Doll” Ramsey, as part her line of high-end women’s underwear (BabyDollz) were manufactured by inmates in solitary confinement at Brackwater State Correctional Institution and that the inmates “may or may not” have received compensation.
“Who would you rather see get the work? Flubuggers going through a temporary rough patch? Or a bunch of slopes in Sumatra?”
Reporters, caged in Moxie’s basement, grilled Ramsey intensely after the announcement with a torrent of critical tweets.
An anonymous activist from the quasi-terrorist American Civil Rights Union (ACRU), voiced “disappointment” with Ramsey’s explanation last night during a collect call we traced to the Balto Bus Station. The activist, we later learned was Gilbert Schtickson, said, “If I wasn’t on my way to Nepal I’d really be worried about this guy” just moments before he was apprehended.