Ramsey Saves Stump Painting Job

More than a month before his coronation, Emperor-elect Ramsey is already making good on his promise to “save whatever jobs I can” in Flubug.

Stump Painting adWhiz Bang’s stump painting gig, which helped him augment the financial burden of free health care, free food stamps and a rent subsidy program approved by Satan-worshiping socialists in Balto during last year’s 340-day legislative recess, “will not be outsourced,” proclaimed Ramsey.

“There’s plenty of trees in Tanwater Park. And I’ll be damned if I’ll watch one more job lost so eco-terrorists can go camping.”

The news, coming on the heels of an announcement by Pay & Pay that they’re laying off their entire workforce and shipping their operation to Barstool (east of Shilltown), was greeted with wild enthusiasm by Ramsey’s supporters who celebrated by setting fire to the bar stools at Louis the 14th.

Fearing a populist uprising, proprietors at Bohunks, Wild Bill’s, even the Drunken Dagger, have replaced their bar stools with step ladders.





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