Fever St Man Arrested Wheeling Dead Wife Into Backyard

shopping-cart-murderFlubug authorities arrested a man Saturday who was allegedly seen wheeling a woman’s dead body in a shopping cart into his backyard.

“Glock” Monroe, 31, was charged with murder, concealing a dead body and transporting a human corpse without a permit.

glock-monroeThe Flubug Police Department said an off-duty detective (one of three) saw him wheeling the corpse, covered with an Entitlement Week banner, into his backyard near Fever and 2-J (J.J. Dynomite Freeway). When the detective tried to question Monroe, he fled.

After a brief chase, during which a shrub became lodged in the suspect’s head, Detective Jack “Jackrabbit” Abbott arrested Monroe without incident. An investigation is pending.

The medical examiner will determine the cause of death for “Glock’s” wife, 28-year-old Agrubba Buggs, who was conveniently wheeled into the autopsy room still slumped in the cart. Monroe was taken to Down County Holding for processing.

dickwadd-probation-adMonroe has been arrested more than 60 times for drugs and violent crimes. He was released last week under new sentencing guidelines penned by the EZ Read Bill Writing Council. Those guidelines, billed as a way to ease prison crowding, reclassified drug offenses as misdemeanors, violent assaults as a gross misdemeanors and murders as felonies.

The result has been an exodus from Brackwater Prison, now down to six death row inmates, a veritable crime wave (with crime up 500% since last year) and an increased reliance on probation to mitigate crime.

Monroe will be arraigned on Monday if he shows up. Bail was set at $200.

summerfest-2016

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