Rilesville Phrase Book

rilesville-phrase-bookTravel to Rilesville can be unlike travel to any other part of Down County (except Quagmire).

Local customs are as foreign as travel to another country and most of us try to avoid the place altogether.

But there are some basic concepts which can make your trip more tolerable.

Those concepts, as well as phrases most useful in Rilesville, are expertly covered in the newest phrase book from the Ostrich Original Language Book series.

Phrases like:

  • Whose owl is this?
  • But I gave you a twenty.
  • They’ll never pay that much to get me back.
  • Where’s my luggage?
  • They were wearing ski masks.
  • The other leg, you idiot!
  • Isn’t my hotel the other direction?
  • He was carrying an axe.
  • I’ve been shot.
  • Those aren’t my clothes.
  • How much to have my meal actually cooked?


  • There are chickens in my berth.
  • My blindfold’s too tight.
  • Can you repeat your demands?
  • Help!


It’s also important to note that the concept of hate is central to Rilesvillian culture and language. For example, it’s customary in Rilesville to start every sentence with “I hate…” So the literal translation of the phrases above would be:

  • I hate that I don’t know whose owl this is
  • I hate that I’m pretty sure I gave you a twenty
  • I hate them because they’ll never pay that much to get me back
  • I hate that I can’t find my luggage.
  • I hate that I can only remember they were wearing ski masks
  • I hate that you chose to operate on the wrong leg
  • I hate the fact you’re taking me away from my hotel
  • I hate the axe he was carrying
  • I hate that I’ve been shot
  • I hate my clothes which are gone
  • I hate to ask how much it would be to cook my meal
  • I hate these chickens in my berth
  • I hate this too tight blindfold
  • I hate that I didn’t get your demands the first time
  • I hate that I need help.

It’s never easy to travel. And it’s especially daunting in Rilesville. But if you have to travel to Rilesville, don’t leave home without the latest phrase book in the Ostrich Original Language Series.

It might just save your life!



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