Activists Claim Rilesville Monument Racist

stinkin-injun-pontStinkin’ Injun Point, the historic promontory that acts as a gateway to the Miasma and represents the single most important (and only) scenic attraction in South Rilesville (unless you count Muck’s Trading Post), has come under fire lately from local indigenous groups who claim the name is racist and demeaning, and undermines the strides they’ve made since being drowned to near extinction in the 19th century.

Chief Spraying Skunk, whose great grandfather, Seriously Spraying Skunk, served as the inspiration for Wallace B. Kochland’s historic monument, insists the Tinwawa have been treated “worse than skunks” in the years preceding and after his grandfather’s death and has formed a coalition of indigenous activists to pressure the Rilesville Board of Supervisors to rename the celebrated landmark.

kochlandThe monument, modeled by Seriously Spraying Skunk who was strung from a nearby tree with a revolving cast of skunks in his hand for the better part of six years, nearly killed Kochland whose rock climbing skills were compared with those of a spastic child. It was also said to have killed Skunk who collapsed four hours after being cut down still clutching his nose.

Activists with the Tinwawa Reparations Committee, hastily formed at the behest of the law firm, Ashe, Holder and Reemer, claim Serious Spraying Skunk was “never the same” after his ordeal and became “even more bitter” (if that’s possible) in the hours preceding his death.

mucks“No amount of money can undo the shame and humiliation heaped upon my great grandfather,” said Chief Spraying Skunk, holding a yellowed photograph of his predecessor at a news conference convened on the steps of Ashe, Holder and Reemer’s office. “But seventy-five million dollars would go a long way toward making this right.”

The Rilesville Board of Supervisors have yet to respond officially, but an anonymous source close to the Board (Garnett Blatz) said off the record, “I don’t know what these redskins are smoking, but they’re two sticks short of a bonfire if they think they’re gonna get any money from us!”

Stinkin’ Injun Point is open to hikers and campers seven days a week from May 31st through September 15th. Day mules and parking are available at Muck’s Trading Post on East Dagger Road on weekends.

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