Capitalizing on that trend is Dylan Mocha’s latest app, SkipWork, which allows users to rack up months of gainful employment without doing actual work.
Using the framework of Debra’s 2013 editorial, Working from Home, Mocha has created an ingenious application that not only encourages absences, it lets users accrue actual wages without showing up!
That’s right. For a small enrollment fee (and agreement to monthly wage deductions) users need only provide their hire date, labor class, pay rate, work schedule, cancelled check and employer’s tax id number to start earning cash for missed workdays.
But there’s more.
When enabled, Office Alerts can inform you of project deadlines, status report due dates, performance reviews, impromptu meetings, social events …even picnics and awards dinners. No more tracking your Outlook calendar for events to excuse yourself from.
Worried about calling in with a crisis? SkipWork’s Crisis Secretary lets you choose from an array of pre-recorded background sounds to give your excuses the validity they deserve. Here are just a few of the background sounds available:
- Crime Scene
- Passing Sirens
- Shelter in Place Orders
- Defibrillator 1 & 2
- Terrorist Abduction
- Arabic Threats
- Crackling Electrical Wires
- Nurses Chattering in Spanish
- Hospital PA
- Beeping Heart Monitors
- Tow Truck Chains
- Traffic Jam
- Auto Shop
- Flash Flood
- 6 Alarm Blaze
- Active Shooter
Those who upgrade to Pro can print erzatz hospital records, ransom notes, obituaries, death certificates, even tow truck charges with a single click.
“What we’re doing with SkipWork,” explains Mocha, whose SimWork already employs half the county. “Is simply elevating voluntary absenteeism to the level of involuntary absenteeism. Why should they be treated any differently?”
But employers, like Mick Moxie of Moxie’s Cup N Saucer, profoundly disagree.
“This little techno twerp has tripled the work we have to do checking and re-checking our employees’ stories. We’ve gone through three wren cooks in a month. Each of them showed up with the same death certificate!”