Think you know what the hottest gift is this holiday season? No, it’s not an F-phone. It’s not hubcaps to replace the ones Stan Waller stole. It’s a “Frack Pack,” sold and distributed by KRAK Radio in connection with their new drive time reality show, Frack Me Runnin’.
And they’re selling faster than the station can print them.
Frack Packs are a set of ten gift cards, each loaded with 30 minutes of fracking time. Present a card at the “Frack Shack” behind KRAK studios, and you can frack for a full ten minutes before you have to re-up. You can also use the gift cards to rent equipment like drill bits, blowout preventers, crown blocks ...even derricks!
To be fair, home fracking has been popular for years, especially in economically depressed areas like Graphite Cornerz, Mulligan and (okay, pretty much all of Flubug), but with the spectacular oil strike behind the Take It N Git II parking lot last August, and KRAK’s runaway hit program (right after Peppy In The Morning), fracking has gone viral.
And it’s not just for grizzled prospectors.
“I din’t know nothin’ ’bout frackin.’ Then I says to Pers, ‘why don’t we give it a try?’ Sure ‘nough, we hit a gusher in less than an hour.”
Gus Nittler likes fracking so much he takes the whole family. “Even if you don’t hit it big, it’s still fun to watch the kids run around after oily birds. They’re easy to catch and it teaches them an appreciation for nature.”
Think you might have what it takes?
Frack Packs are available at Malwart, The Ditch, That Place Down The Road and of course at KRAK studio. But hurry! The price of oil is dropping faster than Santa’s reindeer in Dude Holmes’ crosshairs!