Holiday “Jobs” Still Available

windowless-officeBalto – Need a little extra cash for the holidays? Well you might be out of luck. But if you’re just looking for a job? Congratulations! You can start right away at Windowless Office.

dylan_mochaWindowless Office is the brainchild of self-styled entrepreneur, Dylan Mocha, who came up with the idea while studying Mercenary Business at Beseech Academy. The office, which boasts 75 cubicles, 8 chairs, a printer and a part time receptionist, offers would-be entrepreneurs the chance to run their own business without the attendant overhead. And in a county where half the residents have given up looking for work, it’s an idea whose time has come.

Fran Doobie, Director of Marketing at Tire Fire City, got her start at Windowless Office. Now she makes nearly two figures a week. “It was a little frustrating at first, but after the first year of SimWork things really came together for me. If I have one word of advice for newbies it’s to just stick with it.”

SimWork, or simulated work, can be very helpful for those who’ve been out of work for awhile. “It helps re-establish self-respect and establish a familiarity with office tasks that may have atrophied due to infrequent use,” says botanist and one-time assisted living registrar, Guy Mustin.

carz-hiringIt can also be helpful for those about to enter the job market. According to one former simulated CEO, “I interviewed hundreds of simulated job applicants and whenever I had a graduate and a graduate with a simulated work history I always simulated hiring the applicant with simulated work history.”

But SimWork has its down sides, too. According to aspiring human resources manager, Candace Gnarls, it can become a frightening addiction.

“I was giving two to three presentations a week, leading steering committee meetings and working until 10pm every night until I realized it was just me. Now I’m in therapy and realize I deluded myself for over a year.”

Mitz Stoli’s half niece, Contessa, tells a similar story. “When I got out of school and couldn’t find work, everyone said ‘just try SimWork!’ But after two years all I’ve manage to do is wrack up thousands in SimWork debt. And now that I’ve proven I’ll work for free, no one will hire me for pay!”

But Mocha vehemently defends his brainstorm.

“SimWork isn’t for everybody. If you’re one of those people who think a job is all about a paycheck it won’t work for you. But you might find the job market frustrating. Employers are increasingly unwilling to hire people who can’t see beyond traditional yardsticks like compensation. In a tight economy, more and more people are looking to prove they can through SimWork.”

Windowless Office is open seven days a week in Balto from 6am to midnight. To schedule an interview, call Dylan Mocha at 900-8211 or text NOPAYOK.

Flublue Left

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3 thoughts on “Holiday “Jobs” Still Available

  1. Pingback: Dylan Mocha Buys Ditch For Undisclosed Sum | The Flubug Bugle

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