The Wolf is back! That’s right. The 128 year old entertainer, recently diagnosed with shingles, will be back as Master of Ceremonies this year for the Annual Christmas tree lighting at the World’s Tallest Pencil. And if it’s anything like last year, which saw an estimated 1,500 revelers and 138 DUIs, it should be a yuletide extravaganza.
Once again, the Eunice Drive-In has agreed to donate their theater screen for a modest percentage of the take and once again A Different Animal will accompany the legendary vocalist for such time-worn classics as “Whose Child Is This?” “I Saw Mommy Doin’ Santa Claus” “All I Want For Christmas Are My Thirty Two Teeth” “Angels We Have Heard When High,” “It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Fracking.” and everyone’s favorite, “I’ll Be Stoned For Christmas.”
Due to a commitment at the Nationalist Socialist Christmas party, Harold The Nazi will not be playing bassoon this year, but Gramps McCauley has graciously agreed to sit in on goat horn.
Tran Minh Yee, whose bulbs went dark two years ago prompting a rush on the Faust stand, claims there won’t be a repeat of the 2012 fiasco and vehemently defended his products’ quality:“Someone tamper with lights two year ago. Not Yee’s fault! My lights hundred percent. Go ‘way!”
Tickets for the event go on sale Friday for $10.00 at the Skills Exchange, Town Center, Cavern’s Gift Shop, Wild Bill’s and End Times Book Store, and $5.00 at Louis’ with a donation of unused medication. Parking is available on the south side of the Reservoir from Domino Pocket Park to the Sav-A-Bit Markit, and the east side of Down County Road by The Dump.
Organizers are not responsible for theft, towing charges, destruction of property, burglaries, larceny, home invasions, kidnapping, arrest, food or alcohol poisoning, drug overdoses, hypothermia, trampling or any other incident resulting from attendance at the event.
See you at the Pencil!