Itt doesn’t get any better for Flubug tradition than Quack at the HAAC, the weekend-long drunken duck marathon at The Hormel Horse & Assembly Center.
And at only five bucks, you can’t afford to stay home.
This year’s entrants hail from every corner of Down County (except Quagmire) and include many winner’s from past marathons: Captain Morgan (Flubug), Slumber Sue (Vermouth), L’Orange (Balto), Whistlin’ Pete (Eunice), Mr. McPintail (Watersbad Canyon) and Black Duck Down (Shilltown).
Also entered this year are Pappy’s Pride (Poison Wells), Cannonball Comin’ (Stateline), Professor Who (Beseech Academy), Fowl Play (Nailyard), Dagger Lee (Rilesville) and Bowers the Wonder Duck (Barking).
The fun starts at 8pm when entrants line their ducks along the adult beverage trough and wait for the gun to go off. With that, each duck will have twenty minutes to gulp his or her liquor and head to the raceway. Any duck still drinking at the end of twenty minutes will be disqualified (as happened to Methyl Merman last year, infuriating Graphite Cornerz).
Organizers have added a few new twists and turns this year, too. Instead of the standard laps we’re used to, ducks will have to negotiate hurdles as high as eight feet and squeeze beneath razor wire to win the race. There’s also a house of mirrors before the finish line that’s sure to confound our rye-soaked friends.
But when that flag goes down it’s all worth it. The winner will ride in the mayor’s sedan, holding his duck and the coveted Quack Cup award …and try to defend it next year.
It’s a race any duck can win! Get there early.