Shilltown, Down County – In a dramatic move, coming in the wake of the worst economic recovery in anyone’s memory, Shilltown declared itself an amusement park today and announced it would start “charging admission” as early as Oct. 31st. The decision comes on the heels of last month’s attempt by Assemblyman “Little Putsch” Flanders to sell the town’s acquifer to a cartel of overseas water speculators.
Ticket booths have already been set up on the Miasma Highway, which follows the rapids from Tanwater Park, the Rilesville “Snake” (Route 01), which winds through the forests of Rilesville to the south, and the Watersbad Canyon Service Road which replaced the orange cones that sat along Watersbad Ridge for a decade (see map).
Entrance fees will be good for one trip to 1) Government Land – City Hall, Municipal Court and City Detention Center – 2) The Wonderful World of Health – Office of Communicable Diseases, Coroner’s Office and Pharmaceutical Swap Meet 3) Tomorrowland – City Dump, Waste Management, Suicide Prevention Center – and 4) “The Haunted Village” – Shilltown Nursing Home, O’Bally’s Psychiatric Tent for the Criminally Insane and the North Down County Drug and Alcohol Spin Dry.
One day passes may be purchased for $6.00 and are good until prices increase next week.