Down County Nine, the nine-hole, Iraqi-themed golf course that transformed Flubug’s dump into a world-class family attraction, has yanked a popular food cart’s permit pending an investigation into what officials called “a God awful smell from somewhere on that thing.”
The cart, known by locals as “Lunch At The Dump,” has been operated by Lee Tran Mihn, cousin to embattled Yee Tran Mihn, currently under investigation for installing lackluster appliances. Lee, who refused an interpreter, has been operating the cart since anyone can remember (which in Flubug amounts to a week) and, claimed, through a series of virulent nods, that he has never had a single complaint.
His genuflections however were refuted by Down County Nine officials who claim Mihn’s customers never complained because they never came back.
“We’re trying to run a business here,” complained Bertrand Russell, part-time gardener and author of the unacclaimed expose: Why I Am Not A Golfer. “This guy nods his head if you say ‘hello’ or ‘your mother’s a Nazi.’ He has no idea what you’re talking about! He takes worms, grubs, anything he can find, drowns them in hot sauce and sells them to unsuspecting tourists. We can’t tolerate this kind of filth at the dump.”
Down County health officials, still mulling the legality of a recent “salmonella sale” at Sav-A-Bit Market, were hesitant to comment. “We’ve heard a lot of allegations,” sighed an anonymous source who looked oddly like the commissioner. “But I’ve yet to see one piece of hard evidence other than the slugs we found in a “Lunch At The Dump” sandwich. We can’t just act on a hunch!”
For the time being The Dump seems to have the upper hand. They also have the permit, renewed by Sheriff Ramsey in an unusual move which followed a sizable ad buy.
“The Dump is no place for this kind of trash,” said Russell. “It’s a place where families can come together, play a few rounds of golf and dump their waste in dignity.”