Food Safety Buffs Decry Salmonella Sale

Flubug – Balto officials are investigating allegations that Sav-A-Bit Market on Down County Road is violating food safety laws (and all manner of ethical conduct) by knowingly selling produce tainted with salmonella. The allegations, leveled by Citizens Against Mass Poisoning (a known socialist organization), come at a time when the fruit stand is struggling with fifty percent sales declines as residents scour nearby fields for sustenance.

Asked about the allegations, sole proprietor (Fruit) made no attempt to deny the charges. “Sure I’m selling produce with salmonella, but I’m selling it at a discount. And there’s really no proof that folks will get sick. It’s a fifty-fifty chance. With odds like that, most folks would rather grab the discount and take their chances.”

But Heather Hart, lawyer for the food advocacy group, says the proprietor’s argument defies food safety laws at every level of government. “We don’t care what his motives are. He’s required to follow the law, and the law says you can’t sell poisoned food. I mean… come on! What’s this guy thinking?”

Balto officials are set to visit the stand this afternoon to determine their course of action.

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