Toddler Tossed As Summerfest Opens

Summerfest festivities, anticipated thoughout the year by Flubuggers who’ve forgotten how bad the last Summerfest was, opened with near tragedy this afternoon when six year old Danny Kleptfish was thrown from the ferris wheel onto the fried twinkee stand awning. The child, who bounced twice before being caught, was immediately rushed to Flubug Memorial Hospital where he was reported in dazed but stable condition (the norm in Flubug). The hospital, which keeps its location secret to dissuade the uninsured, refused to elaborate on the child’s condition until his insurance coverage could be ascertained.

A spokesman for  the Villaneuva Entertainment Co., LLC which owns and operates the ferris wheel and other rides at the festival, including the Anaconda Jump which claimed the lives of two naturalists last year when they failed to navigate a chasm above a pit of vipers, said the company was in full compliance with Down County regulations and were “encouraged” by the child’s recovery. Down County officials also refused comment, saying only that “litte Danny is in our prayers.”

possum-swill-adThe incident, which brought festivities to a halt for several minutes, garnered mixed reactions from the crowd, many of whom raced to the twinkee booth to glean the child’s trajectory. Booth owner Doris Schleggelheimer lamented the near-tragedy but applauded her team who sold out of twinkees and possum gulp within ten minutes and had the presence of mind to increase prices by allegedly donating 10% of all proceeds to the toddler’s care.

“Ya gotta hand it to ’em,” she smiled, counting the day’s take. “I’m not sure we’ll be able to donate a full 10% but we’ll do something for little Danny, if just to keep him in our prayers.”

Summerfest continues through September 12th when Fireworks by Yee bring the annual festivities to a close. Tickets are $25 at the gate and include a complimentary Possum Gulp. Shuttle service is available from Spotter’s Field. Insurance is advised.

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