The latest in a seemingly endless barrage of abysmal statistics is set to hit newsstands tomorrow in the lead article in this month’s Huh? magazine entitled “Flubug Voted ADD Captiol of the World… again.” The article, which is riddled with inaccuracies, characterizes the number of Attention Deficit Disorder cases in Flubug as “exceedingly high” yet fails to cite any sources or mention the fact that our 79% ADD rate is down from a year ago when it was…. well… a bit higher. It also fails to mention that our collective Attention Deficit is far less than the Attention Deficit alleged in Poison Wells where the rate is really high… probably closer to 86% or 87%.
I can’t remember who I interviewed for this story. But I can tell you without a doubt that the general consensus in Flubug, or at least around the office, is that we don’t deserve this dubious distinction. No way. Not two years in a row. Last year? Okay. Flubug General was still open and collecting data. But the hospital has moved to an undisclosed location where they can’t be found by patients or anyone else who doesn’t have insurance. They even installed those severe… uh, tire damage things. They’ve got barbed wire, menacing signs and a dog. So there’s no way any patients are being seen at the hospital. And without patients, there’s no data. So, I don’t know where they’re getting their facts. But I’d say Huh? magaizine’s editors are the ones not paying attention!
My point is simple. If they’re gonna….. you know…. print stuff that…. you know…. isn’t true and all… they should… uh… pay a little more attention to the facts and …stuff… I mean… have they ever been to Poison Wells?
Didn’t think so.