Flubug Memorial Hospital is Flubug’s oldest, largest and indeed the only major medical facility in Down County. The hospital served every resident of Down County regardless of ability to pay from 1931 until 2011 when it was bought by a consortium of junk bond investors, currency speculators and drug cartels who called themselves Medical Philanderers Group, Inc. Shortly thereafter, the hospital closed its doors and moved to an undisclosed location.
That location is one of the best kept secrets in Flubug. Not even ambulance drivers know it. Patients arriving by ambulance must be dropped at a safe house or vacant lot at some pre-determined location until the patient’s insurance can be verified. Once verified, hospital employees with the appropriate clearances pick the patient up and ferry them the rest of the journey. When discharged, the process is repeated in reverse.
Patients without insurance can find themselves in a remote location with no way home. If anywhere near the hospital, they can also find themselves in danger as the hospital is guarded by police dogs, tire damage claws and electrified gates. It’s not unusual for Flubuggers to be whisked off in an ambulance, never to be seen again.
The adage “Best be dashin’ when the red lights is flashin'” was coined to warn about just such a situation