And now a public service announcement from Mayor Ornery.
“Folks, we know it’s hot in Flubug. It’s always hot this time of year. Anyone who’s lived here a year knows that (and that means pert near all ya). But, folks, this ain’t no global warming or any of them other rumors spread by them socialists in Balto. And we ain’t breakin’ no records neither…”
He paused to take a clipboard from his aide-de-camp, Deputy Fish.
“According to the figures I got right here, we had a summer this hot back in… 123,678 B.C. That’s a millisecond in the geologic terms, folks. Less time than it takes to squash a bug.”
“So buck up, Flubug. Drink water, or whatever else ya got to do, keep the AC runnin’ and watch TV. Maybe read a little history in The Flubug Bugle or check out The Classifieds. But remember, this ain’t nothin’ but a heat wave.”
The Mayor is scheduled to fly to Canada tomorrow morning and will be unavailable for comment.