The most recent, and by far most convincing, sighting of recently deceased ADRD bassist, “Dooley,” was caught on film today in a dramatic photo snapped on Meth Bible Road. The photograph, which clearly shows Dooley smiling from the clouds, has given new hopes to his begrieved fans and has increased public support for Lavender Condition whose initial outcry over the coroner’s decision to perform an autopsy was considered ludicrous.
“We knew he wasn’t dead!” cried Beverly Koons, rabid fan and well known head of the radical women’s group. “No in Flubug dies.. especially not Dooley! I can’t wait to see him again!”
The coroner’s office refused to comment on the photo other than to say “I hate to break it to his fans, but photoshop won’t make him come back from the dead.”
But this isn’t the first time the revered bass player has been seen. Shortly after his death from a botched chemistry experiment, Dooley was seen “trying to cop” at Stan’s house. Two weeks later the sightings became more frequent, with most occuring at night near the Check N Pay. Then, for a month, they appeared to taper off and it began to look as if he was really dead.
But his fans never gave up hope.
“Dooley and Dex were best friends,” explained Debra who, as we all know, has a hopeless crush on Dex Strongarm, drummer for Doc Longsleeves. “They used to hang out and do ‘poo’ together while writing songs for, like, days. Then this…” Her voice trailed off. “I never stopped believing he was alive. Never!”
The photo has been sent to the Overmeyer Photo Laboratory for intense scrutiny and may very well be labeled a “fake” as so many have. But for many Dooley fans there is no such thing as a fake sighting.
“They can scoff at us all they want,” says Koons. “But Dooley will return…. they all do.”