Evolution Ban Going Strong at Flubug High

Despite threats from the ACRU, out-of-state secular humanists and atheist, Hollywood-funded homosexuals, the ban on evolution at Flubug High celebrates its third year this week―and the faculty couldn’t be happier.

To highlight the occasion, Bunson Cavanaugh, who heads the Science Dept., will oversee construction of a two-hundred pound, bearded piňata in the likeness of Charles Darwin. The effigy, to be fashioned from papier mâché torn from the pages of Darwin’s own texts, will hang in the Flubug Commons throughout the week until its demise on Saturday following the Falcons-Badgers game.

Darwin pinata to be smashed after Falcon-Bears game

Parents in Flubug are ecstatic. “When Zeke told me about the piňata,” beamed former home-schooler Faith Patterson. “ I asked our pastor if we could build one for our church. Now every church in the county wants to get in on the act!”

Hortense Waller was equally enthusiastic. “If they had activities like this when my Stanley weren’t goin’ to school he might maybe a learnt somethin’ instead a makin’ that darn metham― whatever ya call it.”

Even one-time detractor and convicted book store owner, Regent Gilbey, sees some benefits in the exercise. “It’s a great concept and a great way to bring kids together, though I’m troubled by the fact that the school will be providing crucifixes to smash it.”

But few share Gilbey’s concern.

When asked how the concept evolved, Cavanaugh, now in his third year as board chair after ousting disgraced humanists, Sherry Nichols and Beatrice Avada, winked:. “It didn’t ‘evolve’ any more than me or you or any other God-fearing, white Christian evolved. You might say it was built by Intelligent Design.’”

The effigy will be on display in the high school commons until Saturday February 14th and will be open for public viewing two hours before the game.


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