Hormel – By all accounts, the Big Jim Bowie Knife Show at the Horse and Assembly Center in Hormel (HAAC) was a blazing success. Over nine hundred knives, shivs, machetes and switchblades were sold to local residents. Bayonets were also a big draw, netting nearly $3,500 for HAAC vendors.
In all, the center saw 4200 visitors during the two-day event, a record according to HAAC manager, Luke Baylor who was gift wrapping a scalpel when we caught up with him . “I’ve never seen anything like it,” he said. “I think folks are just scared the liberals are gonna take away their weapons. So they’re stockin’ up. Grabbin’ as much stopping-power as they can.”
With crime on the upswing, Luke may be right. Matthew Grapetoter, who made the long trip from Vermouth, seemed to agree. “Obama’s got his finger on the chicken switch and this Holder character he picked for Attorney General is dead set on snatchin’ our guns.” Hoising a nine-inch, serrated bayonet, he continued. “This here bayonet may be the only thing left between me an’ a meth-crazed assailant ‘fore he gets through!”
A drug-free spring dance and cotillion promoted as, “No Crack at the HAAC” begins this evening at 8pm. Free parking is always available.